Wednesday, February 14, 2001

Happy Valentine's Day!

In my more cynical moments, I view Valentine's Day as a made-up holiday intended to give the retail economy a little boost between Christmas and Easter. Well, I used to think that before I fell in love. Now, Valentine's Day is just another excuse to cuddle with my soulmate and do all the things that remind us why we're in love with each other.

But for those single people out there, Valentine's Day is just about the worst day of the year. To balance things out, I think we need a day reserved for indifference and frustration. We could send 'You really annoy me' cards to the people we dislike; perhaps we could be allowed to egg a person's house without fear of reprisal. Instead of flowers, shove a stink bomb down the back of an irritating person's shirt. It could be called 'Give Everyone The Finger Day'. Go out of your way to be rude to strangers. Call up celebrities whose careers have dried up just to laugh at them. The possibilities are endless, really.
Sure, all that sounds cruel and hurtful. Hey, bitterness is something to be shared, not kept all bottled up inside. :)
And for those who think I'm serious about this, you might want to get off the crack. :) Although at one time or another, we've all been so bitter at the world that 'Give Everyone The Finger Day' seems like a good idea.


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