Lose, Leafs, Lose

This is what the Leafs need to do - suck mightily in the hopes that Tampa Bay, Ottawa, and Atlanta find their collective sacks and pass them in the standings. (I'm assuming the Islanders are a lost cause) I mean, sure, it would be hilarious if Toronto somehow managed to finish higher than the Senators - I can't think of a bigger insult - but realistically, they need a chance at either Tavares or Hedman, so I'd rather see them lose now. If the prospect of finishing out the season with a string of defeats is too tough to bear for these guys, well, as the great Marsellus Wallace once said, 'That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps."

So come on, you inglorious bastards. Don't be afraid to suck for just a little bit longer.