Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Gov. Hasn't Reviewed Hilton Fan Petition

Hilton - star of E! network's reality show "The Simple Life" - has called the sentence unfair, and her fans have posted a petition on the Internet urging Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon her.

Paris Hilton has fans. I know, this was probably obvious to you, but give me a second. Paris Hilton has fans. Fans of what, exactly? What has she accomplished that would attract favorable attention? She parties. That's what she does. That's her forte. I knew a lot of people in university who majored in partying, and yet they somehow avoided fame and fortune. Yes, fortune, that's what we're talking about here. She's famous for having a rich daddy... Oh, and there was that sex tape thing.

How pathetic is your life if you count yourself a Paris Hilton fan? Oh, yeah, Paris, she gets hammered every night, and she's had so many boyfriends that you'd need the computing power of IBM's Big Blue to keep track of them all. Plus, she has absolutely no talent at anything. And small boobs.

Yeah, she's an easy target, but we're standing at the edge of the pop culture precipice when there are people in this world who think Paris Hilton is all that and a pack of rubbers, who actually take the time to write up a petition to the Governator asking for clemency. These are the kind of IQ-challenged morons that caused people to believe eugenics was a great idea. Paris is nothing. Less than nothing. Except she's a queen-sized distraction, and that makes the wrong people happy. I can only hope that she fades into obscurity with the good grace common to those who were born with everything and gave nothing in return.

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