COMPUTER NEWS DAILY - NYT SYNDICATE

The headline for this story reads: 'Internet Rife With Film Pirates'.

Wow, nothing gets by the New York Times. Next they'll let us in on that whole 'Smoking Is Bad For You' thing.

Then the story doesn't even bother to mention that these pirated films have the kind of video and audio quality that makes VHS look like the friggin' Holodeck. Hollywood can get all excited about this if they want to, but it doesn't matter, because these pirated films are shit. (The quality of the video, not the movies themselves... although a case could be made either way, I guess) Nobody's going to be satisfied with watching a grainy, blurry copy of Tomb Raider on their 17" monitor; they'll go to the theater or buy the DVD if they really care. At this time, there is no real danger of DVD-quality movies being pirated, because they're too damn huge (3-4 GB at least). But let's make sure the dumbass media continues to spread FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) with gleeful abandon, okay?

Yahoo! News - Associated Press Photo

Watch as George Bush channels Bill Clinton.

Report: Bush Stunned by U.S. Nuclear Arsenal Size

Now, it's a given that I'm not really fond of Dubya, and like many people & comedians, I find his intelligence highly suspect.

But...

If Bush really said the following about the U.S. Nuclear Arsenal...

"I had no idea we had so many weapons. What do we need them for?"

...then I have new respect for the man. That's probably the smartest thing he's said since taking the Oath. Let's hope he follows through on this thing.

ESPN.com: Larry Walker Statistics Splits

For those baseball fans, I just wanted to point this out:

I love Larry Walker; he's on my fantasy baseball team, he's Canadian, and he's got a hockey/all-or-nothing attitude that you just have to admire. As well, he's got an MVP award and has hit like a maniac over the last five years.

However... This page has Walker's stats over the last three years split up in various ways.

Check out the difference between how he hit at home (Coors Field) versus the road (everywhere else). At Coors Field, he batted .419 with an eye-popping .767 slugging percentage. On the road, he batted a more mortal .285 with a .475 slugging percentage. This is the effect playing for Colorado has: it makes good players into immortals. Can you imagine how many home runs Mark McGwire would hit if he played half his games at Coors Field? Sammy Sosa? Barry Bonds?

Consumer Reports says Mitsubushi is unsafe - Jun. 20, 2001

It's been a while, I know - I was on vacation. :)

You know, I never thought any of these tall, narrow SUVs were safe, and it's interesting to see Consumer Reports confirming my suspicions. Mitsubishi claims that CR's tests were unrealistic, but of course they would claim that. Thing is, with the recent Firestone/Ford fiasco fresh in people's minds, who will want to buy a vehicle that a non-profit, independent organization says is unsafe? Don't need 60 Minutes or Dateline NBC for this call, kids.

Woods, Duval, Webb, Sorenstam to face off on ABC

The idea here is that Tiger Woods and Annika Sorenstam will battle David Duval and Karrie Webb, which is rather dumb. What they should have done is pit Sorenstam and Webb against Woods and Duval. The girls vs. the guys. Sorenstam is dominating women's golf just as impressively as Woods is dominating men's golf, and while the men might have the advantage in length, the old adage still applies:

It's not how long you are, but what you do with it that counts.

Besides, it would be a hoot to see the girls beat the guys. Instead, we get the number one players versus the number two players. Yawn.

Napster cuts deal with majors - Tech News - CNET.com

Yeah, okay, so Napster signs a deal to sell music, yadda, yadda, yadda. They had to do something to stay alive, even if it won't do much good at this point. What bothers me is the last paragraph of this story:

Quote: "Napster has already outlined a security service created by Bertelsmann affiliate Digital World Services that would prevent songs from being burned to CDs or transferred to portable devices. In early descriptions of the system, the company even hinted at creating a new format to replace the MP3 files now swapped through its service."

So let me get this straight - after a consumer pays for the ability to download a song, Napster/Bertelsmann wants to prevent you from burning it to CD or transferring it to a portable MP3 player? What the hell is that? Are they insane? What happened to fair use, people? Now I really hope this business venture fails in a spectacular fashion.

Sony Pictures pulls plug on fake movie critic

You know it's a bad sign for movie quality when studios feel the need to create movie critics out of thin air just to get a couple of favorable quotes. I mean, I thought that's what Ain't It Cool News was for.

CNN.com - Blind Climber describes Everest adventure - June 1, 2001

Well, that's great, but let's think about this for a second. The guy's blind, so it's not like he can check out the view, and then there's the other thing - how can he really be sure he climbed Everest? Maybe his sherpas were just leading him up a big hill for a week, round and round, and then when they got tired of it, they said, 'Yeah, pal, you're at the top, congratulations. It's Miller time.'