Thursday, August 30, 2001 - Claim filed against Maine couple holding winning Powerball ticket - August 30, 2001

The lawsuit is being filed by co-workers of the winners, who claim that the winning ticket was part of a group of tickets bought in an office pool.

At my job, I'm in a little office pool of seven people that buys a lottery ticket once a week. All of these people are my friends. If I happened to buy a ticket on my own and won the big jackpot, even though the ticket wasn't the group-bought ticket, I would still share the jackpot. You know why?

Because friends are more important than money. And if you win a jackpot of several million dollars, how is your life going to become better if you keep all the money but lose your friends? The story linked above is an excellent example: this Powerball-winning couple's share was $41 million. The office pool they belonged to had 18 other people in it. I think this couple should have decided to share it anyway - they'd still have over 2 million bucks, and what the hell are you going to do with 41 million that you can't do with 2 million? Especially at the expense of losing friends over it?

Wednesday, August 29, 2001 - Man survives 5-inch nail in head - August 29, 2001

My only question is:

Was Rand al'Thor in Phoenix on Tuesday?

Friday, August 17, 2001 Hollywood Confidential - August 17, 2001

In today's column, movie industry critic Jeffrey Wells makes the point that comedy is a highly personal thing, and the only opinion you can trust on the subject is your own. If you think about the comedies that you've liked over the years, there are probably at least two or three that your friends thought weren't funny at all. Take Monty Python, which is one of the true acquired tastes. Some people find the concept of a man slapping another man in the face with a big fish absolutely hilarious. Others shake their head and hunt for the remote control.

I believe that we generally know what's going to make us laugh, and we instinctively head in those directions whenever we can. I've really enjoyed Kevin Smith movies in the past, so I expect to laugh a lot at 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back'. You might not think it's funny at all, though. Perhaps comedy is like music - different styles please different people.

Thursday, August 16, 2001

Couple Dies Off Florida Keys in Sex-Plane Hijack

Elderly couple gets on this plane that advertises itself as a 'Mile-High Club' venue, but once they're up in the air, they pull a knife on the pilot and demand to be taken to Cuba. A struggle ensues, the plane crashes into the sea, and only the pilot survives.

Or so the pilot says.

I think Crockett and Tubbs need to get on this one ASAP. Perhaps the most disturbing part of this story is the idea that any elderly couple would want to charter a plane just so they can enter the 'Mile-High Club'.

"And on the back of the seat in front of you is a barf bag and a viagra dispenser. Enjoy!"

Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - Researchers suggest easier path for human cloning - August 15, 2001

When they do end up making human clones, will we consider them to be our equals? If we do, what's to stop George Steinbrenner from creating a dozen Roger Clemens clones? Will human achievement become irrelevant?

If they make a million clones of Sarah Michelle Gellar, there won't be enough good-looking rich guys for them to go out with. Would they have to settle for nerds and geeks? Hey, wait... I'm seeing an upside to this situation... :)

Friday, August 10, 2001

'Matrix 2' delayed till summer 2003

I think the only thing that can be said here is...

Aw, crap!!!

Thursday, August 09, 2001 - Bush to announce stem cell decision tonight - August 9, 2001

You have to feel for George on this one, because he's caught between a rock and a hard place; on one side, he's got the powerful pharmaceutical lobby, which desperately wants to explore the possibilities of stem cell research, and on the other side, he's got the backbone of his political party, conservative Christians, who want nothing to do with the idea because it sounds too much like an excuse for abortions.

Big business vs. religion. Wow, what a dilemma for a Republican. Now I think that medical research is more important than the vaporous fears about how the stem cells will be obtained, so my hope is that Bush will follow his wallet and side with big business on this one. His press conference will be worth watching, though, just to see him sweat a little.

Wednesday, August 08, 2001 - Sizzling heat grips Midwest, Eastern seaboard - August 8, 2001

Well, hey, it's a good thing that whole 'global warming' thing was just a big hoax, right?


Oh, you passed out from heatstroke.

Tuesday, August 07, 2001

And the new 'Star Wars' is titled ...

'Attack of the Clones'?

Are they serious?

That's got to be just about the lamest title I've ever heard. Why not call it 'Billy and the Clone-a-saurus'?

If you have to use the term 'clone' in the title, why not 'Star Wars: The Clone War', or 'Star Wars: Me and My Clone', or 'Star Wars: Clone This!'

Friday, August 03, 2001

E! Online News - GLAAD Strikes Back at "Silent Bob"

GLAAD is upset because there are some jokes about gays in the upcoming film, 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back', the next movie from the brilliantly profane Kevin Smith.

This is the culture that we're in, which won't allow you to make fun of anything without having to apologize for it. I think that when you make it your job to try and find defamatory and hateful comments in everything you read and hear, perspective is lost. GLAAD is a fine organization, but ragging on Kevin Smith seems more like a ploy for publicity than anything else, especially after Kevin agreed to donate money to the Matthew Shepard Foundation. GLAAD believes that the target audience for 'Jay and Silent Bob' cannot tell the difference between a joke and an intentional slur. I imagine they also believe that this same target audience thinks the Earth is flat. If there's anything that drives me up the wall, it's this constant underestimation of the public by self-interested organizations. Yeah, okay, gay-bashing still goes on. It's a tragedy. But you know what? In a hundred years, you'll be able to collect all the homophobes of America in a single room, 'cause that's how few of them will be left. Progress is constantly being made, and with each generation, bigotry and intolerance is slowly giving way to understanding and tolerance.

So, GLAAD - yank that stick out of your ass, okay?